Have you ever found yourself grateful for the hard? The things that didn’t go your way, or didn’t turn out, or
seasons that just felt “Oh my goodness, why does everything have to be SO difficult?” I must admit… I
practice that kind of gratitude often. It isn’t because I like it when things are hard. I don’t. I hate it so much.
But here is what I have found: The hard makes you. The things that are challenging and the obstacles you
overcome build you into the person you want to be.

I would love to tell you otherwise, but Graham and I have dealt with a lot of hard. Big stuff and little stuff.
Business stuff, family stuff, health stuff, and more. Whenever something ugly comes up, I feel like screaming-
“What did we do to deserve THIS?!” We’re good people. We recycle. We are charitable. We work to be good
parents (Want to talk hard?!). We send thank-you notes and get-well flowers. We are honest and forthcoming
in our work. We just rescued a baby opossum in our backyard. Our son named him. Pumpkin. I mean, if baby
opossums don’t get you some sort of pass for the hard stuff, what does? And the answer is: Nothing. Nothing
gets you out of it. But when I don’t feel up to my eyeballs in it, I actually am grateful.

Looking back at all the things we’ve dealt with makes it easier to face today’s challenges. I used to joke that I
was allergic to confrontation and would make Graham do everything resembling a disagreement, negation, or
dispute. He (big surprise) LOVED it and still does. He gets a glimmer in his eye when he gets to do that sort of
dance. Things stayed like that, him fighting and me hiding, until our son was born. One of the early lessons I
learned about parenthood is that there is no way to not advocate for your kids. It starts the moment they
come into the world. And the growth, for me anyway, happened when I realized that even if I wouldn’t stand
up to something or someone for me, I would do it for him, every time. As he grew, the bullies, mean kids,
problems, and challenges got bigger and tougher. But so did I. Sometimes by the tiniest, most unperceivable
amounts, but I did. And that’s just in that area of life. It’s been true in work and in relationships, too. Good
luck trying to take advantage of one of my clients. And hurt one of my friends? I wouldn’t recommend it.
Maybe that’s the secret. You get stronger so that you can use your strength to the benefit of other people.
Whoever it benefits, once you’ve built it, it doesn’t go away, and the only way to develop and grow is to push
against barriers and deal with hard things. I wish that wasn’t true. I can’t see any other way.

So, in this season of gratitude, if your life does not look like a picture-perfect, happy, easy, simple postcard,
I’m here to say that’s ok. You’re growing. Even if you don’t want to. Even if it hurts. Even (here’s a big one) if
you think you won’t make it through. You will. I know it. And even if you aren’t yet grateful for it, you will be
better for it, and that is enough.

Thanks for reading,

Kelly (+ Graham) Levine